I would like to believe that it happens every once in a while, I would like to believe that it happens some time to everyone, but the truth is it is a once in a lifetime experience, and only for the lucky ones.
Six years ago I met a boy, he was crass and demeaning to me the first time we met and I never found it in me to forgive him.
But that was not the end of our story, of course not, that is not even a story!
We somehow began talking, hate talking mostly, but with a facade. Everything really went under a veil, the long hours we sat into the night with our phones in a corner and our political science and biology and physics books spread all over the place, the constant back stabbing and empty reassurances that no one ever believed, the mocking and endless contempt, the ridiculing and antagonizing, all of it with periods of decadent happiness and innumerable arguments, weeks of frenemizing followed by months of silent hating, that was our relation, devoid of love, devoid of enmity, with sprinkles of hatred and shavings of a friendship, that was our relation.
I always thought it was a force that held us together, but that summer I was proven wrong. The ambiguity faded away along with the person who I thought held us together, I thought that he was our connect, but he was only our devil. We grew to be fast friends that summer, we did things that friends do I suppose, we laughed, we joked, we shared a few fears, we teased, we insulted, we enjoyed each other’s friendship, doing what friends do I suppose, but it wasn’t to last long. Along with the demise of the pricking summer heat, the flames of our friendship diminished into that summer, into those months. It was a surprising friendship, that was our relation.
But of course we had our senior year left in high school, and like the drama that it must bring along in every relation you may have the slightest dregs left of, so it did bring along to our forgotten relation some, remembrances. We began meeting, for the first time transporting our relation from the virtual and audio world to the physical, thrice a week for after school tuition’s and we hated each others guts. Our memories, tingled with fondness and speckled with silent grudges of empty promises, invaded the 3 feet between us and, well, there was some unpleasantness. Months went by with such minuscule petty misgivings and darting rueful glances, till one day, one day that I don’t even remember we came to talk things out, of course we never became friends again, or even frenemies, we never even said goodbye, but we just left, with nothing at all in our hearts. NOTHING. It was an empty, unsaid goodbye. It was an unspoken relation.
In the 3 years to follow, we barely ever spoke but he became a personified joke that I carried with me to wherever I went. From his idiosyncratic way of speech and attire to his atypical meanness, it all became one huge joke.
And it was no less, he was, he IS, but he is also everything that a normal joke could never be. He is my special joke.
He is someone who can make me smile for the rest of my life just thinking about him. His words, his sentences, his clothing, his ways of thinking, his photo captions, his face, his countless girlfriends, all of it.
Six years later, I know, he is, was and always will be special. Not every one gets to meet a guy of such sorts in their lives. I have been lucky and what once gave me immense sorrow, today I thank my lucky stars for.
There were torturous days and plain hurtful nights I spent years ago because of him, and truth be told, I never did and never will forgive him for the damning blow he has dealt upon my life, but as I look back I wouldn’t have it any other way. I wouldn’t want to not know him. I wouldn’t want to not hate him. I wouldn’t want to never have crossed paths with him.
He made me cry, he made me laugh, he did it for six years, and he changed a little of my life.
It was a strange relation. It is a strange relation, and on this 22nd year of his, heavens help him light more lives in the days to come!