So! After one crazy week of fever, indigestion and quite a few cancelled plans, yesterday I finally met my best friend. She was out of town for her summer break and yesterday was the first I saw of her in a long time. Now I say best friend, but she is not really that, she’s family. Not by blood, but definitely more family than blood ever meant to me.
I know I have been lucky over a lot of things in life, but she wasn’t luck, she was, is, my better half and it wasn’t luck, it wasn’t fate or destiny, no swish of magic with the wand of kismet, we were born for each other and it was only the wait till we found each other.
Don’t get me wrong, I was lucky! But luck wasn’t finding her, my luck was that she was such a beautiful person. There was a time that I was deeply aware of it, but often I think I forget, and I must chide myself for doing so. Despite what most people would have to say about human relationships, there does come, or may come, just a very select few relations in you’re life where you move past taking each other for granted, or constantly telling each other how much you mean to each other. She has been mine, and probably will be the only such relation I will have.
But fact remains that I still want to tell her now and again what an absolute beam of a hopeful miracle she is in this world of a million sorts of rancor. I don’t really think one post would do her justice, so I wouldn’t even try to capture her in one post for those of you reading this out there, but this post isn’t really about her, it is about you.
My best friend is an inspiring woman, she is one of the only people I have met in my life who motivates me to want to do more, be more, in fact is isn’t even that, she just inspires me to be myself, but to be it the best I can be and that is what this is about.
All my life I have heard people say things like be the best you can be and it has been nothing more than words to me, I really didn’t find the meaning in it. But in life, well, in mine at least!, I keep having these moments of pin pricking realizations where I really find the emergence of the oldest quotes in history, and believe me, the emergence is truth.
Over time and manifold battles triumphant and defeated, I think I feel that there is a self that I can be depreciated of my best and then there is me, battling to surface every ounce of my best and to let it control the person I am. That is my reality, there is no short cut and no perfect time to try, I mean you are trying to step into your own shoes, it will fit right whenever, correct? You just need to try. Being yourself to the fullest is no onerous mission, its both simple and enjoyable, the only tough part is to understand full well where you want to head, draw yourself a road map, and decide to never, EVER, give up. The journey may be a never ending one I feel, and each juncture will come with its openings and road blocks, but the best part is it will be the most exhilarating ride you have embarked upon, and once you hop on board and begin your travel, you just keep moving full speed no matter what.
Some of us find people who understand and push us through, others don’t, but the funny thing is it is never quite the push that gets you going so much as the pull. The pull you feel from within to answer to the call of your self, wailing to crawl out of that cocoon you coddle your best into and to fly.
It is always a blessing to have someone who believes in you and I was lucky enough to have a best friend who always believed in me. She sees so much more in me than I know I ever will be, but it revives my broken spirit with a smile that only she can bring to it.
I may not be much to this world but you have ALWAYS made me feel like everything to you, and you’ve given me the strength and courage (oldest words in the book!) to try to find in me what you always say that I have, and you have given me hope and faith, that the journey will be worth it. I know you have no foresight into tomorrow and I’m pretty darn sure I won’t be the heaven sent of humanity like you seem to think (Oh how love can be so blinding!) but you looked into my soul and took me there with you, and made me realize that there is always something in there worth fighting to be. I love you.
There is ALWAYS hope. And there is ALWAYS faith. It simply lies within you, not outside.