Falling.

Szymborska’s poem reflects the Biblical story of Abraham’s dear nephew Lot as he was asked to flee the lands of Sodom and Gomorrah, and run with nothing but his family, and to never once look back. The ‘never looking back’ was supposed to be a testament to their faith that God will provide I suppose!  Or well, as so many things are, just cause God said so!

As God rained sulphur (oh yeah! I will DEFINITELY come back to this!) upon the lands, Lot and his family ran, but his wife looked back and was turned into a pillar of salt forever (they still claim you can see this pillar up on the dead sea, I’ve been there, I didn’t see a thing!).

Most Bible scholars say Lot’s wife looked back because of curiosity. That is what I was taught in Sunday School as well. It doesn’t say why she turned in the Bible. Moreover, how can one ever know if the moment she turned back she was turned into a salt pillar?!

I wish someone had had a chance to ask her just once, why, why she turned, and if it was worth it.

I’ve turned back.

I have turned back and I am standing at a true crossroad.

i have realized much, too much, I have moved past much, too much, but I have still turned homeward and wondering where to head.

There is so much at stake, so much to risk, so much to throw away, making a less than perfect choice was never the hard decision, this is.

My teacher asked us the ever famous Shakespearean question the other day, which is what I ask myself, to be or not to be, that, indeed is the question.

Oh how I wish I could turn into a saline spray of ocean and vanish today! Oh! How I wish I would ebb away with this disarray in my mind, with this fear in my heart, with this turbulence in my spirit, I wish I would merge with the mirrored waters of the dead sea and float upon eternity forever, rather than crash and burn while I try and try to make this decision!

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