Good Faith, 22nd February

I have had the most unrelenting week with a whole lot of storms thudding away at the recluse of my peaceful mind. The week has been drawing the safe ships from my harbour and tossing it into the ravaging ocean, awaiting like sea beasts to devour all of me plank to plank. It hasn’t been fun.

Sometimes when things get really un-fun (just let me.) it is easiest to watch a lot of shows online, sleep a lot and in the remaining few hours, meet a friend and talk about mindless gossip till the life drains out of you and you are ready for bed again.

Does any sentinel of ‘healthy living – body and soul’ that we all have tucked away secretly in our subconscious permit such fool hardy behaviour? Ofcourse not. And yet, those mind magazines are so much easier to write themselves than actually follow, right?! I mean come ON!

However, there is always this little part of me that knew this was more than a black and white game, there were a whole lot of ashes and greys to be discovered here and I am all out to hunt!

It can’t be that simple to decide how to feel and act when you are swivelling around in confusion, anxiety and a general low! It can’t simply be this unrealistic natural Prozac-like behaviour versus full-fledged I-give-up-on-life ultra gravity pulls! There had to be windows in between.

And the good news is, there are.

I find mine every second or third day, and although it doesn’t promise a complete release of my troubles and might only be fleeting, it is in these bowers that I regain sufficient strength to continue the eternal battle of trying times. That is what make them so inevitable in our lives.

There is no simple way to explain my half-hued windows, because every individual would possess their own and numerous ones of their own at that. I have tried jolting down the key elements that comprise the framework body of these retreats though so here goes.

  1. A place you feel good about yourself – I think it is important everyday, and especially during our hard times to love ourselves the best we can. It often seems difficult because when we feel generally dejected the easiest thing to do is throw in the hat and ask someone else to love you (and fall further apart when no one creates this love pool for you to immerse in when you need it), but I think it helps to know that it isn’t always as strenuous to love ourselves as we may think. It isn’t necessarily about listing out what we like about ourselves, thinking back at our triumphs or coddling our best to fluff up and pillow our broken souls (although those are valid remedies as well!), it is sometimes about doing the things we do best/ the things we like to do and being reminded of a beautiful and strong part that will inevitably arise which rests within us. We are not merely thinking we are good, we actually feel it, and that makes all the difference. Often when I read Coelhos or English Literature (particularly the romantic era), or drown in a pool of manga/anime, this works for me. they are stress free leisurely acts and give me so much power, it is a wonder for the jaded! I believe it has something to do with how much we relate to what we do and the magic that flows between our soul and the act/what we relate to, that together forms one of nature’s most scintillating potions, revival.
  2. A place totally unrelated to your worries – It goes without being said that it is best to refrain from anything that causes you to be reminded about the hard situation you are in, the strings are to focus on your strength and beauty, and the makeup of who you are, and those are the notes that if played right, will play you to rest. Sometimes activities like sports or working out help a lot of people feel more content and good about themselves, I have never been one for those though.
  3. A place you can relate to – It is important that while doing something stress free that you enjoy and are sure to find the best of you in, it should be something you always feel a piece of you in. As I said earlier, I do believe that allowing your soul to flow into a stream where it can flourish is a key component in this potion.

Some of the things that helped me this week were Carrie Bradshaw’s character in Sex and the City, Wordsworthian poetry, karaoke-ing in my room to find my vocal range (which I discovered was extremely limited, but I also discovered that I can actually do a heck of a lot better than ‘carry a tune’ if I stick to my range unlike what I believed ALL MY LIFE!) and intensely scrutinizing the Bleach anime.

What’s your calm in the storm?

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