What if it’s not a given?
That you would meet someone, fall in love and be happy. What if it’s not a given?
I was watching Friends for like the tenth time in the past six months alone and in the episode where Rachel approaches Tag after his break up, he voices the biggest existential fear of all us romantics out there, what if it’s not a given?
I mean let’s face it, sure, most people do find partners of some kind to spend their lives with, but there are so many who don’t, and even the ones that did, how many of them were true love and how many simply settled? Is it really a given?
I know the answer is faith, and hey, I have all the faith and youth in the world at the moment, but how long will this last?
Should I be out there already (or ever?) trying my butt out to find someone whom I could love or is my fate and faith recipe for love and life astute? We all want love. We all want it to be that one big romantic story in our lives that we never saw coming, that prince charming, that (umm what’s the female cliché of prince charming?!) awesome chick (?), that everything you needed to finally know that your other half has searched the universe and found your soul. We all want that, but how many of us actually find that, how many choose to settle and how many actually never do find that true love?
To make everything so much harder (because who likes easy anyway?!), what if we found it, and lost it, and it won’t ever return? I have never believed that there can only be once that we fall in love, but the one, I believe in that stuff, I am too young to turn that cynical! What if it needs to be fought for? What is the difference between obsession and true love?
Life always comes down to beliefs and choices and everyone has a different story to tell at the end. I find that beautiful generally, but sometimes it is frightening. There are no truths in this universe really, are there? It’s only a matter of what you choose to believe and what you choose to make of things.
I always choose to believe in fate, in meant to be, in happy endings, I’m an optimist and romantic like that, but I am human and not devoid of fear. I am not immune to doubt or worry. I am not entirely unimpressionable. So I feel scared, not for myself but those around me. I am a little afraid today how their lives will turn out because the truth is there are only so many life experiences one person can have in less than twenty two years, everything we ‘know’ constitutes what we take in from all that has happened to the so very many people we know, and the ones we love, and whose lives change ours forever.
My prayer for today is that the impressions that remain in my heart and mind, the ones that form my beliefs and tamper with my faith, are all ones that in some way has a positive role in leading me to my forevermore.