Today the first of my classmates from school got hitched! It was as much a shock as the guy himself (one would never have thought him the sort to tie the knot so quickly!) as was the salient matter that someone who studied with me, my classmate, some one of (roughly) my age just got married.
I’ve known people from other schools and one of my college classmates as well get married over the years but a schoolmate of my own, that seemed so much closer to home, and in all honesty a little nerve wracking.
Lately, it seems to be a topic my friends and I spend a wee bit of time pondering upon in every conversation, are we old enough to start getting married?
Alright, so we are all mostly in the neighbourhood of 21 to 23 and are done with our degrees and doing our masters/working. If we find the love of our lives, well then, why not I guess?
It isn’t about our age or financial stability or actually even about love. The unsettling element is our timeline.
We all have a mental image of what our timelines will look like, there are markers and rough age boxes they fall into. Sure, there may be a lot of surprising elements and it’s never going to be a pin point precise map, but deviations, there can only be so much and so many.
Marriage, it just never fit into most of our early twenties, at least, in my circles. Seemingly, I was wrong though because there goes yet another groom and bride riding away on their horse and chariot to everafter.
So, how do we come up with these fantabulous timelines in our minds? The society we live in has a lot to do with it I suppose, as do our own little sub cultures we choose to fall into, as do our dreams, our aspirations and our vision of what our life should be like. By our twenties the foggy nascence of what our road maps should look like begin to form more opaque a picture, and that’s what is ironic.
For our twenties is when we first begin to realize how absolutely misguided we can be, about anything and everything. Like marriage.
Life, they say, is something that happens between a series of choices we make. That is something that I am beginning to realize is true enough because we arm ourselves with each decision we take, each calling we herald, each time we open our eyes and know what exactly it is that awaits us. But life happens when we are unarmed, and life changes everything we map for her, time, dates, routes, everything and when I open up my twenty two age box, I probably won’t find a ring, but some people, people I know, people from my circles, just may.
I wish you and your bride all the very best my friend.