The Them

Life goes on, with or without them.

Who is the them, I suppose is the operative thought here.

The boyfriend/girlfriend who broke your heart? The husband/wife who cheated on you? The best friend who betrayed your trust? The mother who tired living through you? The father who never acknowledged you? The sister who was always better than you at anything you can recall? The brother who always thought you were a little joke? The institution that sees through you? The teacher that refuses to give you a good grade? The friend you fell out with ages ago because of some obscure reason you can’t even remember? The religion forced upon you that you do not believe? The coach/trainer who thinks you will never be all that good? The relatives who never saw a tiny bit of hope in you? Who, pray tell, is this ‘them’?

They could be latches in your life that can be pulled out, and you will feel the vacancy, you will feel the emptiness, but your life still goes on, and the spaces are covered. The sun rises, it sets, you breathe in between, and somewhere between a few weeks to months of this rising-setting phenomena you abjure to just  existing and allow yourself to smile a little, laugh even, dream a little and live a little. Like they say, life goes on without them.

What about the ones who our existence is so undeniably twined with, like the oldest of branches in a vineyard? What about them? The funny thing is life does go on even without them. It wont be an easy road, heaven knows the gorges and boulders and peaks we need to conquer, but here is what I have understood about life, it takes faith, you think you will be sent a guiding evanescent angel, with a healing touch and uplifting words? No.

When you are letting go of a vine you will always have ties to it, and there are people like that. You will have a part of them in you, because you were CREATED of them, a part you can’t extricate no matter how hard you try. Moving on without them is absurd.

You do something really hard, you redefine you who you are so they no longer fit within you and gradually bow their goodbyes.

Redefinitions, people have different ideas, but remember the most important factor, faith

You must have faith that you are NEVER alone in anything, your pain, your joy, your aspirations, anything. By faith I don’t mean say it will work out for a few days and then give up. I mean really truly believe in your heart that you will find another tree where you really belong, vine as you may be, it’s a bigger world out there. (remember Ice Age?!)

So will you have a new platoon to embark with you, you will never ever be alone. You must believe, truly, blindly believe that your troops are being formed by a commander general up there somewhere, and they will be with you, perfectly equipped to walk your uphill climb.

So yes, they were right, life does go on without the them, but it isn’t as simple as it sounds, but it is all too true, for better or for worse.



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