I don’t know if I should be taking a break off blogging altogether because I have been so low on inspiration and material to talk about of late, or if I should just continue to produce insipid unoriginal little tidbits of talk here and there. I know the former sounds like the politically correct thing to do but I don’t want a vacation from those who read me just because I have nothing of uptown value to say. I wanna maintain the one promise I always have here, keep it real.
So on that note do let us take a gander at the bucket list that I am terrifically failing at striking off. There is so much I wanted from life that I put on that list but there is also so much that I receive and that I do seek that isn’t on the list. So today I will tell you one such tale.
A year and a half ago, I lost a friend. I lost her to a complicated web of reasons and harsh circumstances, but we both made a silent choice to not befriend the other, she blaming me for not caring enough to talk it through, and me blaming her for never realizing how much I did care to begin with. We went our separate ways.
She texted me once asking for an answer to our silent end but I didn’t have it in me back then to respond appropriately, I told her she was too late, knowing that in actuality she is simply asking too early and I was not ready to face answering her. So just like that, I lied to buy myself some time.
A few days ago I was talking to a mutual friend and he told me that she was graduating and instantly my heart felt the need to reach out to her, and all the words I was searching for for over a year fell right into place in my heart. I felt the time was right. I felt I was ready.
I approached her in an inbox with much trepidation, for I knew not if she was in the same place I was, or if a door I once shut will remain that way when I go knocking. She however, was not angry anymore as she said she once had been, and we were able to have a most adult conversation about the past, like two individuals who respected that it was the past.
I gave her my number at the end while wishing her luck and said she could talk to me whenever she felt like it. Although I didn’t expect a response she did whatsapp me in the evening and we had another small little chat about our lives.
I had dedicated my second anonymous blog-letter to this young lady. I didn’t think to make it a part of my bucket list, but actually reaching out to my blog-letter recipients is on my bucket list now, not this year’s, but my life’s.