Letter – 4

Dearest K,
I want you, but I don’t want to fight for you.
I need you, but I don’t need to die for you.
I’ll miss you, but I am oh so used to missing you!
It has been two and a half years since you walked into my life, and even today, it’s still one heck of a rihanna song, I hate that I love you so.
I have never met just one other person who can stretch my limits like elastic and then let me snap, every single time, and still win me over, and I still love you.
I think of all we have been through in the past few years, the endless sleepless nights, the endless silent nights, the fights, the questions unanswered, the friendship we found amidst it all, we evolved, and I was so proud of us.
How could we fall apart into nothing yet again?
I remember that night as I held your hand and you told me about how transitory it all was, life, death, all of it. Little did Ii know our friendship fell in there, but ofcourse I should have known better.
There was so much beauty and truth in your eyes in the darkness that night, and I will always remember it.
K, I will always miss you!
I don’t know how to not feel a void if you leave me. I thought I was stronger but I don’t know how to placate my wounds if you leave me again.
Three years ago you were the first person I told after being run down by a bike in the middle of the road, it was the first day we spoke, oh the auspiciousness! When I look at my right calf even today and I see the scar left behind I will always remember you, your face in the crowd past all the dancers, the music that played through the zesty crisp air, the so many insignificant texts we bombarded our phones with, your quiz, the look on your face, the sound of your voice that day, I will miss it. Always.
Just like that night, this scar will never ever vanish, just like that night, I will always remember you. Always.

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