I had once read somewhere that ‘don’t take yourself too seriously, no one else does.’ Wise life quotes and everything, you know. But I am here to tell you today that it is okay to take yourself too seriously, precisely because no one else will.
There are going to be times the whole world will look at you and wonder, isn’t she over him yet? They won’t care about the tiny nuances of what you feel, and even if you explain it most eloquently, they won’t understand, not how you want them to. Your really good friends will take a little more time of their schedules to try preaching solace, or maybe try listening, the others will tell you that you are in a hard place and it sucks. But the truth is no one takes you as seriously as you feel, because it isn’t possible to take an old story from another’s life so seriously. I know that, because I can’t do it.
They will always think, wasn’t this part of her self image fixed like six months ago when we spend a whole week pouring over it? They will not understand that some parts never get truly fixed, and that the tiniest splinters can equip you to moan in pain for a good many hours, if not days, or weeks.
They will never grasp how a long lost friendship still matters like ur everyday best friend, how you still question a decision made a year ago, how it matters that you are making, once again, a resolution you failed at a dozen times before, they won’t understand. No one can take you as seriously as you take yourself.
Sometimes I wonder, does that invalidate my right to take myself, my life, so seriously? To be as affected by it as I am? Is it okay to feel so much, to think so much about things that no one else sees reason enough to dwell on?
And then I remember, it’s my life. If I don’t take myself seriously, who will? If I don’t feel my pain, feel my joy, who will? Feelings inherently just are and there is little we can do to control them from arising. If you still feel it, let yourself feel. If you still want it, let yourself want it. If it still hurts like a broken limb, you are not meant to invalidate the pain.
No one is going to take pain from a year old fracture seriously, but those are the ones that need most attention, so you should know better.