beauty or the lack of it.

I was battling which blog I wanted to share this on, or if I wanted to share it at all but then I realized this was something salient that people needed to know about, so here I am mon ami.

I had a miserable stint today. I got ready to step out, constantly feeling like I just wasn’t looking right enough to go out and be confident (quote superwoman: never step out the door without your confidence). I stepped out anyway, and in fifteen steps I felt so horribly ugly that I instantly ran back in. Does that ever happen to you? When you feel so unattractive you want to just run inside and hide under your covers?

Well it happens to me sometimes. Generally I suck it up and keep up my stride but today I felt I knew better, and I am glad I did.

I know there are a lot of people out there who tell you to keep moving on no matter how you’re feeling and things just may take a turn but I say that if you really don’t feel good about yourself, there is no harm in going and hiding within the solace of your four walls sometimes. Even if you did step out, there is nothing abject about stepping right back in. So I stayed in, watched a bunch of really inspiring videos and got this whatsapp from a friend.



I’ve always been a believer in letters. Throughout high school and especially college I’ve written hoards of letters and notes to my friends. Since life took a crazy turn a year ago I rather stopped writing them. I began to wonder what the use was, what the point of cursory words (cause they began to feel that way) were jolted down in ink? Birthday? Sure, you get a letter. If not, the reason was lost on me.

My friends words gave me hope amidst all my cynicism. She made me once again think over my attitude towards doing the smaller things that matter. Writing letters. Giving gifts for no reason. Celebrating everything cause you can. I miss that version of me. I don’t know who I am anymore, but I sure as hell intend to find out. I will take you on this ride, sweet friend. You and I, we will discover.


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