Has it been long or has it been long?
Okay, okay I know it’s been long, but I’m here now so let’s begin!
On this terrifically lovely day I am here to speak to you about FOMO, or what we call the fear of missing out.
I am one of those people who lives under the penumbra of FOMO, and I know some of you are as well so this one is for us, okay?
We are not just afraid of missing out on occasions, we are petrified of missing out on relations, on this life, and not in a way that makes us mindful of what we have but in a way that drives us off the rocker.
The fear of missing out constantly urges us to keep comparison, to evaluate, to tell ourselves that we are indeed NOT missing out, and in the process we tend to lose the essence of so much that we have and are.
I have been battling a severe case of FOMO from a couple of years and let me take this moment to be painfully honest, I have built up such a plethora of defences to get through this life that at one point I just had to stop and ask myself, what was I even running away from? What was at the bottom of this fathomless fear?
I believe that for me it began looking at a life where I had not just lost a lot, but I felt in some way that it was taken away and given to others, and I didn’t know how to make sense of this. Thus began the intricate scaffolding of what I was to launch myself off of.
Unlike what I have seen to be the popular perception, the fear of missing out doesn’t actually make you (albeit wanting to) be everywhere and do everything and nurture every relation you have, not always. What it does do (besides drive you insane) is create a space in your mind where you are constantly playing the rebuttal with a voice that tells you that you are losing, and let me tell you sometimes you do lose, and even when you win, you can’t help but wonder, is this a real victory or have I been a loser from the moment I indulged in this battle?
My view of this world is sometimes contorted beyond understanding and I don’t know how I got to where I’m at, fear over fear, I would say. Sometimes I just want to shrug off every last hook that has pierced into my mind pulling me down and bleed dry all my fears. I just am not sure how.
Every day is a challenge of its own, and my only answer to this war we wage is this one word, gratitude.
The past weekend, as I was giving away The Magic by Rhonda Byrne at a book exchange chain, I was once again made to look into how it changed my life, and change it did.
The magic of gratitude can save you. It can mould you. It can transform you.
Even on my most asinine days where I feel the weight of the world thundering upon my defeated spirit and wandering mind, I know how to reach the magical cave, I know where to find the vial of reviving potion, gratitude.
I am one of those who believe that it is impossible to stay defeated when you know how much you have to be truly thankful for. Will things bother you? Of course, we are but human. However it has taken me a while to realize the difference between something irking you and something crushing you, and I am glad to say that more often than naught I am not crushed any longer.
I don’t have all the answers, I don’t have all the secrets, but I do know what changed my life, and what holds the infinite capacity to change yours.