Today I did something insane.
The kind of insane that you know is truly ridonkulous, and yet, you will choose to do it, because you want to.
Today, I said to my friend “I hate life.”
If there was one thing I was certain that I would never say in 2015, it was precisely this. Precisely.
How can you complain about a year that has given you nothing but amazing over amazing over some more amazing? And yet, I did the unfathomable.
Maybe I am writing this to articulate how short sighted we can be, or maybe I need to remind myself what gratitude is, maybe I just want to tell you that if you stopped to say that you hate life, well, you weren’t alone today.
There is nothing that can be more blinding than the immediacy of pain. The urgency with which it can plough itself into your life and proclaim supreme reign is really something else!
So here is to YOU, because on days like these, you choose to be happy, you choose, with every cell in your body, to seek gratitude, you choose, because you know better than to say that you hate life. No, you know how painfully blessed you are, and so you choose, because you can, to smile instead.
I chose to smile, because a few months ago I promised myself that I wouldn’t allow a day to pass me by without a smile. Life is too beautiful to not smile, to not be happy, to fret out the small stuff.
Life is too magnanimous, to be pelted down by one statement, one blank space, one person.
I heard that we are all each other’s angels and demons. How true.
So if your demon ferrets into me, seeking throne, remember her angel will drive you out with laughter so loud that will mount your evil whispers of fear, and with a hug so tight she will crush your clasp of insecurity.
So run, no, flee, because I am no longer yours, and I never will be again.