When the waves came crashing in


“One week,” I said to the universe. “That’s all you get, do your job. Don’t eff up.”
I set out to heal six days ago, heal from a wound I chanced upon when the universe asked me to take a plunge that landed me nowhere good.
Ah, that bugger.
Anyhoo, six days later I must say she redeemed herself.
After a fifteen year old spring mattress, an eight year old garden with sightings of handsome stallions, winter roses, the snow white ones with pale pink splashes, the perfect matt lipstick, junk food for the soul, a sun that rose when the air was crisp enough that you could just hear it crackle, a dozen mandala scribbles, caramel baths drawn at a water temperature right enough to unlock the gate between skin and soul, a months worth of superwomanvlogs, buckets of black tea laced with the goodness of all things home, a tireslessly sunny blue ocean, brave conversations, a confused playlist riddling between feel good and let-me-feel-bad-and-die-for-three-minutes tunes, noise that held still and silence that wailed, after all of which she healed me.
Sometimes you gash in ways that don’t scar, you open up to bleed away the darkness, because within there is always light.
This ones for a few special humans who kept me holding on through the darkness, thank you would never suffice to express my gratitude, but maybe a ton of doritos will.
It can get scary sometimes, really, really scary, the pain can get acute and blinding, but trust whatever it is that you put your faith in, trust it some more, and then some.
You will come out the other end, here’s to.







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